Wishes

I think we're all afraid.  We fear not knowing something profound, thinking there is a mysterious secret that we're missing.  Religion has found the answer, yet it hasn't revealed it to us, not quite.  Unless, of course, one buys into the blind faith that overshadows that fear with an irrational belief in magic.  But most people, I believe, don't really think there is really an "answer." At least they don't understand it.  And they're afraid that they just don't "get" it.  Well, they don't.  There's nothing to get.

We wish for things that are not and will not be.  That is as it has always been.

Beyond Words

The solitude of an early morning appeals to me.  Perhaps solitude, alone, appeals to me.  But the mix of solitude and an early morning is food for my soul.  I love the time before the sun shoves the darkness into the corners of drawers and gives me just a hint of what's to be.  Early, pre-light morning and I have an intimate relationship that goes deep.

Early morning and me.  We are alike in so many ways.  We are more private than we admit.  We have no secrets, but we don't tell all without a reason. We find comfort in one another's company.  Our love is beyond words.

Serenity...Is it a Fable?

I am trying to remain calm...make that regain calmness...after learning on Friday that our Professional Employer Organization (PEO), the company that handles payroll, offers HR advice and--most importantly--makes it possible for us to have and to offer our employees health insurance is terminating our contract with 60 days notice.  No explanation.  Just doing it.  The contract says they can. So they are.

I seek serenity in the belief this can be overcome.  But it is very hard finding that serenity when I feel, with every fiber of my being and every bone in my body, that the people who made the decision to terminate the contract are the lowest form of human scum who deserve to be shunned and worse.  If there were justice, but unfortunately there is not, these people would experience first-hand the loss of their health insurance.  And it would happen immediately before learning of a serious illness that will wipe out their life savings without such insurance.  They would know, on a painfully personal level, why it is fundamentally wrong to look at something as impactful as the business decision they made as simply a matter of financial profit and loss.

I am serene.  I am serene.  I am not hoping for unspeakable things to befall people who have no heart, no soul, no essence of humanity in them.  I am not hoping for such things.

Serenity.  Calmness.

Is this concept of serenity real?  Or is it a fable?  I think, today,  it's the latter.  It's a concept fed to us by those who know how utterly impossible it is to accept injustice without entering the realm of rage.

The Bordeom of Garage Work

I spent much of the day yesterday setting up in the garage, on a temporary basis, the vanities that were removed from the master bath as part of the remodel. Each one is 67 inches long by 22 inches deep by 31 inches high. As shown here, I have them up against one wall of the garage now, a 134 inch stretch of cabinets.  For now, the cabinets have no counter surface.

The guys who removed the vanities moved them to my backyard for me and carefully wrapped them in tarps to protect them from the weather. After I unwrapped them, I managed to move the monsters, by myself, into the garage. The guys were careful to try to keep them intact during the removal process, but even so they were damaged. So, later when I have more time I'll have to do some repairs; I'll do that before buying 3/4 inch plywood to serve as countertops for them.

The task of moving the cabinets into the garage necessitated an extensive clean-up of the area of the garage where I placed them. That was an all-day undertaking, as I had allowed junk to pile up with no system in place to keep it organized.  I have way too much in the garage, but at least we've been able to keep both cars inside...believe it or not, the disorder shown here is better than it was.

Serene Showers

Today has been devoted almost exclusively to emptying the master bath and our closets. I cannot believe how much stuff we have stuck in drawers, boxes, shelves, etc., etc. It's way more than we will ever use...or ever did. So, much was carted off to Goodwill and such, but there's more.

Tomorrow will be another day like today. By day's end, the master bath, closets, vanities, etc. must be completely empty. Monday morning, the construction crew arrives to demo the bath and begin the long remodel. It will take about 4 weeks. That's a long time to do one bathroom.

After I emptied my side today, I took down the double-sized mirror. That was a BEAST to do. The thing is 5 feet x 3 feet, which doesn't seem so large until you try to move it around. It's two 3x5 mirrors, back to back, plus the frame. I bet it weighs a good 150 pounds. Anyway, I got it down to the floor; but I need help getting it outside. I want to keep it (I don't know why) so I wanted it down before the demo guys show up.

Our new bathroom will be so simple, plain, and calming. I plan to love it and spend time there showering myself with serenity.