Questions

My father never, to my recollection, spoke to me about religion or god or his religious beliefs. I knew, though, that he was religious. He was just very, very private about his beliefs. I don't, to this day, know exactly what his religious beliefs were, but I do know (or I think I do) they were Christian beliefs and he was a religious man. My mother told me, after he died, his favorite hymn was Amazing Grace. I remember a few occasions when I heard him humming it...or maybe even singing it. Or maybe those are false memories. I don't know.

Regardless, I associate that hymn with my father. Whenever I hear it, I think of him. When I hear it, I get very emotional and I tend to tear-up. Don't know just why, but I do.

I'm not religious, at least not in the traditional way. I don't believe there is a god that has ultimate responsibility for everything. I don't think there's a powerful being that created mankind. All of that stuff strikes me as utter fantasy. But I believe there is more to "us" than higher-level animals who can think and plan. I don't think there's an afterlife, but I think the lives we live allow us to have a mark on the future...or at least on the present. I believe in concepts of goodness and badness. I believe people should be good to one another. I don't believe people should steal from one another. I don't believe murder, whether by individuals or the state, is acceptable. I have morality. I just don't quite know how to defend it. I don't do it through god.

Physics cannot explain all the "BIG" questions to my satisfaction. But I don't buy the religious explanations, either.

It's late. I have to sleep. These questions won't get answered tonight. They won't get answered in this lifetime.